For adult children, it can be difficult & uncomfortable to speak with an aging parent about their future needs. Many seniors grow frustrated when the topic of assisted living comes up. They might fear they won’t see their families & lose the independence they hold dear. While these conversations are difficult, they are also necessary.
Assisted living services can add a breath of fresh air to your loved one’s daily life, overall well-being, and quality of life. It may also provide them with valuable new social connections. Discussing senior living options with your parents can be productive and collaborative.
Here are a few tips for talking to an elderly parent about assisted living.
Get support from siblings & family members
Before approaching your parent or aging loved one about moving into a memory care facility, it’s important to consider how you might handle the transition. If there are disagreements among family members about where to place Mom or Dad, it could complicate things considerably.
Several key strategies can simplify this difficult process, particularly if adult children or other relatives are divided over whether memory care is necessary. These include:
• Helping each person understand what he or she wants out of life
• Making sure everyone agrees on the goals of the final stage of life
• Having a plan for managing conflicts
• Choosing a caregiver who fits well with the rest of the family
Do your research
Before you open the discussion with your parent about their future options, you can significantly benefit from educating yourself on the industry. Here are some tips to help you research your senior living options:
• Read reviews online. You can find many positive and negative reviews of specific communities on sites like Yelp and Angie’s List. Reviews can give you insight into whether there are issues with the facility itself, such as mold, fire safety, etc., or if there are complaints about particular management companies.
• Talk to friends and family members who have experience with similar communities. Ask them what they liked about their current community and what they didn’t like. Also, ask them what they think about the overall experience.
• Speak to the admissions representative in the communities you’re considering. They’ll be able to answer questions regarding amenities, pricing, availability, and so forth.
• Consider the level of care required. If you want to keep your parents independent, consider independent living. If you’d prefer to provide 24/7 supervision, consider assisted living. And if you’d like to combine both, consider memory care.
• Visit the facilities. Don’t rely solely on photos and descriptions found online. Instead, take a tour of the facility and speak to people who work there.
• Check out the costs. Many facilities charge monthly fees, and others require upfront payments. Make sure you understand the difference between the two types of payment plans.
Ease the topic in gradually
Once you understand the many options available, it’s time to start the conversation. You know your loved one best, so explore this stage at your own comfort level. You’re generally best served if you gradually introduce the idea over time.
You may encounter resistance when discussing your parent’s future options. It’s important to prepare yourself for this possibility. Your main goal shouldn’t be to convince them to move immediately, but rather to get them thinking about the realities of aging. Ask questions about their plans for the future and selectively inform them how assisted living can calm some of the anxieties they may face.
Make sure you also explain how they will benefit from the services offered at the facility. Also, let your loved one know that you’re not trying to pressure them into making an immediate decision. You just want to give them as much information as possible before deciding whether or not to pursue assisted living.
Listen
Ultimately, this choice significantly impacts their life more than anyone else. They are the ones who have lived most of their adult lives there, so they know what works best for them. But they don’t always realize that they’re missing out on opportunities because they aren’t aware of all the choices.
You may understand that a good senior living community will actually help them achieve greater independence, but your parent might need more convincing. Educating yourself on the Industry and being an advocate for senior living is a means to an end – that end being your parents making an informed decision with help from their closest family & friends.
If you approach them with honest pros and cons for many options and clearly communicate that the choice is ultimately theirs, they’ll feel respected in the decision-making process. This is an essential step toward getting them to see how assisted living can enhance their life, rather Than take it away.
Stress the benefits & excite them about possibilities
Seniors often think a move to senior living is the end of their freedom, but it can actually be a path to maintaining their independence, social outlets, hobbies, and interests. Encourage your loved one to keep an open mind and let them know that modern senior living communities are active, fun places to live. Persuade them to visit and tour a senior living community to talk with residents and see what life could be like.
Choose the best community for you & your loved one
The Gardens at Oasis is proud to be an independently owned and operated community with home-grown folks who care about you and getting to know you. The Gardens is a great place to retire, relax and really thrive. Give us a call today and let us show you our vibrant and caring community!
